Reflections on the Great North Run

When I was at school, I hated running. I was not very good at it, and I felt that running hated me. Not that I hated exercise or wasn't sporty. I was. Sport being Cricket or Rugby, Squash of Golf or even sprinting (100m obviously, not 200m). Not running (anything over 100m!). Running meant enforced cross country running in the cold and wet. I was not a runner.

And so it was for most of my adult life. I was not a runner. I played squash, trained in the gym and rode my bike.

In 2015 I decided to stretch myself and take part in a triathlon ( a short one, but a triathlon none the less). My struggles with swimming not withstanding, it was the idea of running 5km that caused me the most stress.

"Couch to 5k" on my  phone to the rescue and after a few months I ran 5km without stopping. Hurray! Still not really a runner though. However triathlon box ticked (for now).

It should be noted at this point that I have a "list". This is a list of challenges that I decided some time ago needed to be completed. It contained amongst other things- a triathlon, 10k run, End to end on a bike and other non energetic pursuits. It is documented in a previous post).

Fast forwards 18  months and I have not run again, not even for the bus. So when my Park Gym group decided we should run the Worcester City 10k, I was all over it! Starting from scratch again I slowly (very slowly) building up distance to the seemingly impossible and mythical  10k. It seemed so far and for most of the time so unachievable. Of course it was achievable and the race was duly completed in a reasonable time and much celebration was had.

What next? Well not much really. Back to the gym mostly and definitely no running. I pretended to be interested in doing a half marathon, but my heart  was not in it. It seemed so far. Too far for a big non runner like me.

Then in March 2019, out of the blue, I received an email from Simply Health (Denplan) confirming my place in the Great North Run for September 8th 2019!!! It seems I had asked my Denplan rep if there was a spare place for me at some point in the middle of the night at the last Conference. I may not have been sober. Oops. I seem to recall that is exactly how I ended up cycling from John O'Groats to Lands End in 2014. I really must learn from this.

What else could I do, but say yes, and immediately put a post on Facebook announcing my intention to do this iconic race in 5 months time. Secretly knowing that I could and would pull out nearer the date. No problem.

Then the unthinkable. A client donated £30 to my just giving page! Within 10 minutes of it appearing! Not even my patient, but one of Karen's! That  was it, I was committed. Better think about training.

My mindset at that time was very negative- "I am not a runner", " I can always just walk it", but I am nothing if not stubborn and determined.

A chance meeting with Chris Barrow at the Dentistry Show completely changed my outlook. Totally changed it. Smashed my old mindset to pieces. In the space of a brief 5 minute conversation, my running negativity was flushed away and replaced. I was no longer "not a runner", I was and "inexperienced runner" with a plan.

Thank you Chris form the bottom of my heart. Your Jedi mind tricks worked wonders. Thank you to my business partner Karen Sutton too. She told me to slow down in training and concentrate on the distance, and also to listen to spoken word not music, which helped more than I imagined.

Whilst I am thanking people. I cant do any of these things without the love and support from Steve Timms.

The Plan-

• Target a run of 15.8km on 25 August, being 3/4 distance 2 weeks before race day.
• Extend my long run each weekend by 0.8 to 1 km from my staring point (5km) to the target.
• Get in 2 or 3 shorter runs throughout the week.

Easy

And it was. Sort of. Not easy so much, as achievable. For the last 6 weekends I have run further than I have ever run before. That's quite a feeling of achievement every weekend. Suddenly a half marathon became exciting, achievable straightforwards even.

So, I am writing this on the train to Newcastle. Excited about doing something that I have watched countless thousands of other proper runners do around the streets of my hometown. I will do it, I will complete it in a respectable time and I will enjoy it immensely.

As in life, it is all about mindset, determination to succeed and positivity. Just keep going.

I am a runner.

Until next time.

Dx

50 Things to do before my 51st birthday(20 June 2020)

As I am turning 50 this summer, I wanted to set myself some challenges and tasks to complete as part of my year of celebration. Some of them are easy, some are way out of my comfort zone. Some are off my bucket list, and lots will not be completed, but I am going to try to tick them all off before my 51st birthday next year. Watch this space......

1. Visit one of the Wonders of the World
2. Get a tattoo
3. Learn Italian 
4. Visit the Caribbean
5. Throw a party not at home
6. Go to my School Reunion
7. Go in a Hot Air Balloon
8. Reconnect with an old friend(s)
9. Run a Half marathon
10. Learn to swim properly for fitness
11. Pay anonymously for a strangers drinks in a cafe
12. Tell my family I love them
13. Bake a loaf of bread
14. Start writing a book
15. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
16. Ride in a helicopter
17. See Mark Knopfler in the Royal Albert Hall
18. Swim with Sharks
19. Take a photography class
20. Take a DNA Ancestry test 
21. Swim in a Cenote
22. Sleep under the stars
23. Eat Sushi
24. Complete an Olympic distance Triathlon
25. Go to a Dance Class
26. Complete a cycle Sportive
27. Learn to descend on a Road Bike
28. Send a message in a bottle
29. Put £5 in a library book in the library and watch who finds it
30. Visit Stonehenge
31. and Giants Causeway
32. Eat Fish and Chips on North Shields Fish Quay
33. Bake a cake
34. Shower in a waterfall
35. Sing Karaoke
36. Bench Press 100kg
37. Let go of grudges and forgive
38. See a Baseball game
39. Take a Cookery Class
40. Eat 10 things that I have never eaten before
41. Visit (or at least book to) Australia
42. See a West End or Broadway Show
43. Return to playing Squash
44. and Golf
45. Start to trace my Family tree
46. Take my parents to a Michelin Starred Restaurant
47. Run 3 mountains in a day
48. Start more advanced Orthodontic Training
49. Go Skinny Dipping
50. Sky Dive

Goals for 2016

2016 Goals

Family

• 2 week carefree summer holiday with kids and Steve
• Visit New Zealand at Christmas (at last)
• Reconnect with old friends Sue, Fi, Claire, Rick and Kate, Naomi, Nick and Marion
• Continue to spend quality time with kids
• Ensure Rory is given all the help he needs for GCSE

Relationships

• Life with Steve to grow and thrive
• Finish the house and..
• Move in together full time, though not necessarily in the same house
• Short break in Feb, and a week in the sun in May together
• Help support and encourage Steve on his new journey

Career

• Further ortho training
• Continue to Work towards a bigger and better future for Beacon under the Gensmile umbrella
• Work hard in my BACD role, to increase  the number and quality of full members
• Start Facial Aesthetics Journey
• Max my first full year as an associate

Money

• Not debt free but debt under control
• Make significant in roads into repaying Family
• Start to save properly
• Have a workable family household budget

Education

• Increase my Orthodontic and Implant Skills
• Start Facial Aesthetics training
• Reduce Golf Handicap to 20

Physical

• Weigh no more than 88kg on 31 December (currently 91.3)
• Complete a running challenge
• Complete Coast to Coast
• Organise and hope to participate in Kilimanjaro trip for Bridge 2 Aid
• Get my health problems sorted out once and for all or at least properly diagnosed
• Cycle more
• Have a more regular gym routine

Also

I shall be raising money for:

• Dental Mavericks
• Bridge 2 Aid
• Make a wish foundation
• St Richard's Hospice

Reflections of 2015

Since I have revisited my goals for the 2015 , I thought that I would reflect on the year a  bit more, as I think about my goals for 2016

These were my wins

• Long weekends in Paris and Sitges with Steve- both fantastic. I didn't even hate Paris completely. Sitges is a wonderful place for a holiday. It is a brilliant mix of young families and gays. No stag parties, no hordes of drunken teenagers and 18-30 holidays (is that showing my age?). Loads of lovely bars and restaurants and fantastic beaches (12 of them!)
• 10 days in Florida was amazing. A holiday of a lifetime with the kids. Exhausting though and not really relaxing but great. I am done with rollercoasters for a long while, and also done with overly large american breakfasts. 
• Selling Beacon DentalCare to Gensmile. It took a long time and the deal was close to collapse a few times, but we got it over the line eventually. I can't tell you how happy I am to be an associate, still working in the fab practice I helped to create. The future at Beacon is very bright.
• Divorce coming through finally. It might be a sad occasion for some, and indeed it was not a big high, but we have been seperated for 7 years and on good terms, so it was about time that we tied the loose ends up and got on with it. We are both much happier for it.
• Seeing my love for Steve flourish and vice versa. It really is quite marvelous to love and be loved so much. Nothing else to add to that
• Seeing Steve finish his house in Bristol and get it sold, AND buy a new, if a bit broken, one in Malvern. 
• Watch the new broken house get almost fixed and ready to move into or sell.
• Take on the role of Membership Director of BACD. I was very daunted by this, and struggled initially to do my job, but I think that I have grown into it, and really looking forward to hitting it hard this year
• Losing 6kg! (briefly!)
• Being fitter and learning to swim and run well
• Completing my first and probably not last triathlon, and raising £650!
• Smashed the Dentistry Awards winning 4 out of 4!

Losses

• Not coming out of the sale with any money left, in fact considerable remaining debt. ah well, it is done now, and I have plenty of years left to start again
• Not being able to do any work with Dental Mavericks this year- I am almost up for it with fundraising through my triathlon
• Not being able to pay my parents off this year
• BIG STRESS, since the sale
• Being skint and owing my friends and family money
• Not being physically healthy- joints and bowel problems remaining unfixed and undiagnosed

Favourite Films of 2015

• Star Wars :The force Awakens 
• Sunshine on Leith (amazing- watch it if you get the chance)
• Interstellar 
• Spy
• Focus 

Music

• Jimmy Somerville - "Homage"
• Mark Knopfler - "Tracker"
• The Proclaimers "Lets hear it for the dogs"
• The Fratellis "Eyes wide, tongue tied"
• Rod Stewart " Another Country"
• Natasha Paremski "Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto No. 1"

Books

• Ben Cohen- My Autobiography
• Giulia Enders-Gut
• Bill Bryson- The Road to Little Dribbling
• Dan Jones- The Hollow Crown
• Simon Sinek- Start with Why

How to be a Community and Charity Champion Part 2

So, in my previous blog, I told you my story. How Karen and I made Beacon DentalCare known throughout our local community and beyond as THE charity , giving, community minded dental team.

How can you do the same?

Some Tips to get you started:

• Have a Team Meeting and engage your team.
• Ask them what they want to do
• Get ideas on suitable projects
• Light a fire underneath them and get them super motivated
• Talk to your freinds and clients to get an idea of what local charity and community groups are out there.
• Start small 
• Exhibit Local Artist's work (FREE! Don't take a commission, you will not sell much anyway, and it is terrific good will)
• Get Involved with raffles/draws being run by local service clubs (Lions, Round Table, Rotary). For example, most Lions clubs have annual Easter Egg and Christmas Hamper Draws
• Sell Poppies, Ribbons, Badges etc for Charities
• Get out of the practice and go and talk to local groups:
• Schools and nurseries on the subject of Oral Health
• Rotary and Round Table groups are always on the look out for different interesting speakers
• Join a Breakfast Networking Group and get your message out there
• Make yourself available to give a talk or presentation (obviously for free)
• Get a mascot. There are loads of ridiculous full size costumes on ebay such as Foxes, Bears, Dogs. Make sure it's name has significance to the Practice . (Ours is Billy the Beacon Bear).
• Offer your premises to groups or charities for special events
• Host your own themed events such as Cake Sales (Macmillan have one ever year), Fancy Dress Days, Charity Car Wash (outside the practice where everyone can see what you are up to)
• Charity Whitening has always worked well for us
• Get your local labs to make trays for free (several big national labs will do this for you)
• Get your gel supplier to give you free gel for the charity project (again several big whitening companies will give you gel for this)
• Give your time for free to take impressions, photos etc
• Advertise the event as heavily discounted and limited availibility
• Give 100% of the proceeds to a suitable (dental) charity 
• Bridge2Aid are very help to out with charity whitening project
• Do Sponsored events, and really encourage your team to do the same. Promote it in the practice and talk about it until your nurse is ready to kill you, to shut you up!

I guess the big thing that we got involved with was our Beacon Shining Light Awards. You can set your own awards up too. We were recognising local unsung heroes, but whatever works for you.

• It is hard work, and you will need help. Either from a tame (and cheap or free) Professional Events Organiser, or a designated team member
• Promote it through your clients and local media to get as many nominations as possible
• Get local celebrities to judge the awards
• Get Good Quality prizes from Businesses in your area
• Have a flash awards ceremony. It does not need to be a sit down dinner, but a small buffet and some fizz are a good idea.
• Get a local celeb or dignitary to host the event and give out awards
• Make sure the local media are present if possible

Whatever you do, you will generate good will, and most likely lots of free publicity. Word of mouth is an amazing marketing tool, and word will soon spread. Keep shouting about what you are doing, anywhere you can. Pay for advertising if you need to.

There you go. If anyone wants to ask me anything about what we have done in the past , please feel free.

Until next time..

DX

How to become a community and charity champion Part 1 (Background)

Morning folks

I recently had the great privilege to speak to a small group of like minded professionals on the subject of community engagement. This has led to several requests from those wanting to know how to get started.

I am not an expert in anything very much (possibly excepting Newcastle United history and Tolkein!), so this is just my  story and my experiences along with some tips as to what works for me and my team and what doesn't.

Firstly a little background:

When Beacon DentalCare was set up, it was always our intention to be actively involved in our local community. In those days this involved:

• Contacting local artists and getting them to put their art on the walls ( free art for me, exposure for the artists, interest for the clients). We did not ever charge a commission and we continue to sell 1 or 2 pictures a month. We now also sell a decent range of greetings cards and postcards.
• Contacting Local schools and nurseries and arranging trips to visit them, taking with us an Oral Health message (more later!)
• The occasional charity "event"- Dress up for Dentaid, and a few local events

So far so good, but not amazing. We were quite pleased with ourselves but it was not quite what we had in mind.

In 2010 , a friend of mine who worked with a local charity asked me if I would consider letting him use our large derelict back garden. ( about 1/3 acre that we had always intended to turn into a garden for our team, patients and community). Onside advocacy work with Adults with learning difficulties to give them purpose and training. The Beacon Garden project was born. We signed over the use of the garden space to the charity, and they are still there twice a week all year around, growing vegetables, learning horticulture and using the space for events.

This is a link to a short video filmed in the garden :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37JCc1_J9w8

The garden project lit a spark of an idea. With the help of Kevin Rose we decided that we wanted to become famous as the Dentists that CARE. We created Beacon DentalCare Care 2011 culminting in our Shining Light awards. It was our intention to work with a different charity or community group each month .

We asked our clients and friends for ideas and offered the practice space inside and out to be used by different groups. We got carried away! At the end of 2011 we had worked in various different ways with 26 different groups and helped to raise more than £11000.

The Shining Light awards intended to recognise local unsung heroes, and we had a ceremony at the practice with prizes to honour our winners. 

Some of the things we did:

• Macmillan Coffee Morning
• Acquired a mascot- Billy the Beacon Bear
• Fancy Dress up days for Dentaid
• Hosted events for Onside
• Various collections
• Hosted a quilt exhibition (National Quilting Challenge!)
• and an Art show
• Scouts used the space for charity car washing
• Provided Dentistry for Belorussian kids affected by the Chernobyl disaster
• Displays focussing on different charities including MNDA and Parkinsons
• and more.....

After that we took a break and focussed on a smaller number of charities and events and regular sponsored events ( cycling, running, Triathlon's, charity work in Morocco). Much more manageable!

Last year we re launched the Shining Light awards with the help of an Events Organiser, and made it much bigger and better and more professional. We enlisted the help of local celebrities as judges and local companies for prizes and had the Mayor officiate at the ceremony. Lots of publicity, lots of feel good warm fuzziness!

It is not difficult to do, it just needs a caring, giving open outlook and some ingenuity. Sounds like most dentists I know.

All of the things we have done generate:

• Goodwill
• Free Advertising
• Profile
• Warm fuzziness
• Free news articles, radio and TV and international internet coverage
• Love and support from your team and patients
• More profit

In part 2 I will share my ideas on how to do it.

Till next time

Dx

Revisiting my Goals

Since I have been in such a reflective and peaceful frame of mind lately, I thought that I would revisit my Goals for 2015 and see how I have done and what needs to be done for the rest of the year.

Written originally over the New Year's holiday this is what I  set out, and how I have done SO FAR

"Family

• Take a proper holiday with Steve and my children, Florida preferably  - TICK
• Visit New Zealand at Christmas UNLIKELY NOW
• Holiday with Steve- TICK
• Continue to spend quality time with kids TICK

Relationships

• Life with Steve to grow and thrive TICK
• Move closer together or indeed be together DEFINETLY HAPPENING BUT LIKELY NEXT YEAR
• Finalise an amicable divorce and maintain a healthy relationship with Katie TICK

Career

• Complete the transformation of the structure of the practice TICK
• Work towards a bigger and better future for Beacon TICK
• Work hard in my BACD role TICK

Money

• Be Debt free by the end of the year NO CHANCE BUT PLAN IN HAND- MUST TRY HARDER
• Start to save properly - MUST TRY HARDER

Education

• Increase my Orthodontic and Implant Skills  SEMI TICK- WORK IN PROGRESS
• Start Facial Aesthetics training FAIL- NEXT YEAR
• Reduce Golf Handicap to 20 FAIL- TENDONITIS PUTTING PAY TO GOLF FOR NOW

Physical

• Weigh no more than 88kg on 31 December (currently 91.3) SEMI TICK (CURRENTLY 88.3)
• Complete a triathlon IN TRAINING FOR SEPTEMBER
• Climb a big mountain for Dental Mavericks FAIL
• Get my health problems sorted out once and for all WORK IN PROGRESS
• Cycle more TICK
• Have a more regular gym routine DOUBLE  TICK

Also

I shall repay my Parents FAIL, BUT PLAN IN HAND

Visit Morocco with Dental Mavericks FAIL

I shall make a concerted attempt at being Gluten free TICK

I shall sleep more and drink more water HMM

I will reconnect with my oldest friends Richard and Kate, Naomi, Nick and Marion, Paul and Sandra, Susan, Fi, Claire and Guy- going to be busy" NOT YET- (KICKS SELF)

So- New Goals for rest of 2015

Family

• Make a plan to visit  family in New Zealand this year or next
• Maximise Family time
• Plan holidays for next year

Relationships

• Plan for renovating Steve's new house and moving in together
• Plan time away for Christmas period
• Reconnect with old friends

Career and Education

• Facial Aesthetics training
• Continue Orthodontic Journey
• Full steam ahead with BACD Membership Director role
• Adapt fully to life as an associate

Money

• Proper household budget and plan to eliminate personal debt by end 2018
• Save properly
• Start repaying my parents and stick to the plan

Physical

• Weigh less than 87kg and less than 16% body fat by 31 December this year ( currently 88.3 and 19%)
• Compete in my first triathlon
• Continue swimming and running for fitness
• Continue gym routine
• Get a diagnosis for my health problems and get them fixed!!!
• Sleep more and drink less alcohol

Positivity, Materialism and Happiness

This post was prompted by a series of conversations that I had earlier in the year at The Dentistry Show and BDA Conference.

 I met a lady for the first time in the bar at the Crowne Plaza (where all good conversations begin!), She is not a dentist but is very well known in the Dental world, and she was a bit drunk!

This lady was sitting with some other well known  non dentist dental types (!), who were friends of mine and the conversation was getting very heated, as I joined them

"All dentists care about is money"

"Fast cars, big houses, expensive holidays"

"Bloody dentists, , always talking about money and cars" etc etc, you get the picture.

So of course I jump in with my 50p's worth,  (not having a fast car, big house or much money for holidays), and by the end of the conversation I had convinced my new friend that most dentists are not at all money driven , greedy, materialistic bastards, and are actually quite nice people, with goals and aspirations that are not related to money and worldly possessions at all

This got me thinking. Why is it that the general public think this? Even non dental professionals within the greater Dental world think this, so there must be some truth in it surely?

When I think back to my schooldays, I remember that the main reasons that I applied to do Dentistry,centered around money and possessions. I had noticed that my own dentist who had inspired and encouraged me, had a new red sports car, a new beautiful blond wife and had built himself a big house! That will do for me I thought. (I have subsequently had and lost all of those things, but more of that later!)

Throughout my dental training and in my early years as an associate , it seemed that everyone within our profession was earning mega bucks (always more than I was, of course), and they all had fast cars and big houses, so that is what I aspired to even more. More hours, more fees = more money and infinite happiness, right?

Well, maybe for some but maybe not. Don't get me wrong I have many friends in Dentistry who earn a lot of money and have the possessions that go with it, and they are to the best of my knowledge very happy indeed. However I was not, not at all.

It took several years to see the light and work out how to simplify my life. I had help and inspiration from Chris Barrow, Tom Orent, Paddi Lund, Tony Gedge, Harris Sidelsky, Steven Covey and others. Eventually I saw the light and realised that to find happiness in work and home life I needed to stop chasing fees, and stop aspiring to be someone else.

I would encourage anyone to seek out those gentlemen I have listed, and LISTEN to them!

The big moment, my entrepreneurial lighting bolt moment  if you will, came in October 2006 (1030 on 16th October to be precise). I was attending a day course given by the American dentist Tom Orent. His story resonated so much with my own, and reflected so many of the ideas that Paddi Lund talked about- suddenly it all came together in my head. From that moment on I would think very differently.

What happened over the next few years is the subject of an upcoming blog, but suffice to say my priorities changed, and I started to think about working as a dentist in order to be happy and create happiness in my team and patients, rather than to make lots of money.

There are so many others that have reinforced those ideas-  Mark Oborn, Kevin Rose and Rob Whittaker especially spring to mind. I was lucky to spend some time with all 3, learning about the power of Neuro Linguistic Programming and how much a positive outlook can affect your general mental well being and happiness.

I am 46 years old, and I look back to a time 10 years ago, when I had plenty of possessions and money, but it was a fragile façade, and I was not happy. Not happy with my work, my marriage or my life. I attempted suicide at least twice before I pulled myself out of it, with the help of my friends including those that I have mentioned above. That and my own brand of stubborn bloodymindedness

Right now, I have little net worth, hardly any assets and I am an associate in the business I created, and recently sold (future blog!)
I can honestly say that I am as happy and fulfilled as at any time in my life.
I love my work, I love working with local and international charities and local community groups and I am in a happy and fulfilled relationship.

Simplifying my life so dramatically over the last few years has created a very real calm happiness.

I would encourage anyone reading this, who is questioning themselves or their purpose:

• Read more
• Learn from Masters
• Be Positive and Proactive in everything that you do
• Be yourself, always
• Listen more
• Educate yourself, not just with clinical stuff
• Surround yourself with positive people
• Keep life simple

Above all- If something is wrong - CHANGE IT. If you are tolerating negative stuff- STOP IT

Be Happy

Until next time...

Dx

Challenges and other things

First post for a while- sorry, life has been very busy. Amongst other things I have got divorced (amicably) and sold my practice. My life is now wonderfully simple and I can focus on other things- more in my next post!

Those of you who know me have probably got used to my seemingly never ending stream of ridiculous challenges and fundraising activities. This year I decided that my comfort zone needed expanding again, and I have done enough bike challenges that they don't seem to be enough of a challenge ( Last years End to End has seen to that!). So what to do?

Well obviously since I don't swim well, and don't run well and I have done neither "seriously" for 25 years+ , I should do a Triathlon! It has always been something on my bucket list, but I have managed to find excuses for years. Well no more excuses.

Warwickshire Sprint Triathlon in September - 400m swim, 23km cycle, 5km run= EASY! Well the cycle will be easy, but 400m is futher than I have swam IN TOTAL in 25 years, and I have not run further than the length of a squash court since I was student ( and not much then). So it is a big challenge.

To add spice to the mix, my business partner Karen Sutton is also doing it and it has become a contest between us ( we are both a tiny bit competitive!).

Of course there needs to be a fundraising element to it, which involves the two charities closest to our respective hearts:

• Dental Mavericks for me (www.dentalmavericks.org), helping to provide dental care for the Berber children of Morocco .
• Community Action Malvern for Karen,which helps various voluntary groups in the Malvern area

Today marks 50 days to go, and I am still a long way from being able to swim 400m, but closer to my running goals. The training goes on ( including swimming coaching from my kids, who have taken pity on my woeful technique) and I know that I will get there, and I know this will be an amazing experience.

If you are able to help with a small donation, that would be awesome.

 http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/DAVIDWATSON18

Thanks for reading. Until next time....

Dx

Things I dont like very much (Hate is such a negative word!)

Things I dont like very much 

(Hate is such a negative word!)

1. The Daily Mail- such a negative, hateful, spiteful rag
2. Mothers driving in the morning school run- always in such a dangerous hurry- GET UP EARLIER!
3. Beetroot
4. Primativo/Zinfandel
5. Rudeness
6. Poor Service
7. Rubbish Pseudo American R+B
8. Litter
9. Ingratitude
10. Mushrooms (all of them!)
11. Tequila
12. My own laziness
13. Dishonesty
14. Religious Bigots
15. Waitrose in Malvern on a Thursday
16. Tomato Ketchup, heinz or otherwise
17. Smelly people
18. The A14
19. and the M40
20. Fake Smiles
21. Chelsea Tractors
22. Champagne Socialists
23. Slow broadband
24. Rats!!
25. any other rodent
26. Bad parking on West Malvern Rd
27. Unpleasant Football rivalries ( even Sunderland AFC)
28. Bullies
29. especially homophobic bullies
30. Cheap French Wine
31. Confrontation
32. Arrogance
33. My own overweightness
34. and occaisional lack of will power
35. haircuts

Sexuality

This is a very personal post, and  a difficult post to write , I have written it many times in my head, but now, in the week that my divorce has been finalised, it seems like a good time to put in on paper as it were.

A little while ago, I wrote a blog entitled " Things that I would tell my younger self", and I quite deliberately missed something out.
Addressing my sexuality.

A friend asked me recently why I did not come out when I was younger? I have been asked that several times, most notably by my mother and my ex wife!  Another friend asked me if I regretted not coming out sooner. Another once asked me, why I had lived a lie for so long. The answer is most definitely NO.

Both my mother and my ex wife were quite reasonably upset when I did tell them, and that was very difficult for everybody concerned, and I wish that was different. That is a quite normal reaction. However, there is much more to it, I believe.

This is a difficult post to write , I have written it many times in my head, but now seems like a good time to put in on paper as it were.

So...

• I have known I was attracted to men and women since I was 13
• I have never been confused about it
• I thought I was gay for 6 months or so, but realised quite quickly that I was Bisexual
• I married for love and I was very happy for most of the 17 years we were together
• My sexuality was not the reason our marriage failed
• It has taken me a long time to accept being "labelled" as gay, since it isn't strictly true. I am at a point now where I do bot care
• MOST IMPORTANTLY. I try not to regret anything, but I certainly cannot regret keeping my sexuality to myself, even hiding it from my closest friends and family. Most of all because I have three wonderful children. !!!
• Most of the above is generally irrelevant and nobody's business
• I am VERY happy that I have found a wonderful man, who I intend to spend the rest of my life with

I do believe very firmly that sexuality is a spectrum , and everyone is somewhere on that spectrum. The vast majority are at one end or the other. Some people are like me, and are in the middle.

Why am I writing this?

For myself mostly, but also because there is still so much stigma attached to being gay or bisexual. Teenagers are still killing themselves and being made homeless. IN 2015! IN BRITAIN!

40% of the homeless young people on the streets in London are gay or bisexual, and most have been abandoned by their families. I am lucky to have the love and support of my friends and family, including the mother of my children. Not everyone is so lucky.

Homophobic bullying is still common in many schools, and communities.

For me it seems very odd, that I cannot walk down the street holding my boyfriend's hand, even in lovely liberal, easy going Malvern, it would be a very challenging experience for us.

For me that is why people like Ben Cohen and Gareth Thomas are such wonderful human beings. They devote their time to working with young people to fight homophobic bullying .
Check out their charities:

http://www.standupfoundation.com/

http://www.diversityrolemodels.org/

If you get a chance support them, please.

There you go. Sorry if it seems a bit personal. I needed to get it off my chest.

Till next time

Dx

Budapest

Lately, in our morning huddles at Beacon Dentalcare we have been sharing "facts" that we don't know about each other and I have been reminded of my fabulous 3 days in and around Budapest in 1991.

It involves Backpacking, Threat of imminent rape, murder or both, Billy Bragg, The Pope, an old primary school friend, a smelly train and a Hungarian Beatles tribute act.

It all starts in Keleti train station in Budapest in August 1991...........

So, my best friend (then and now) John Remington and I had been inter-railing through Europe for a few weeks and we arrive in Budapest late one August evening after a long train journey from Zurich. We have nowhere to stay as usual, and are greeted off the train by a young man offering "very cheap bed, and a good place to stay". Even at the time, he seemed dodgy, and looking back he was clearly very shifty, BUT we were tired and dirty and poor, and he was offering a cheap bed for the night, so what else could we do, but get in his dirty van and head off into the darkness of a strange Eastern European City.

We were not murdered, though I remember being very worried on that short journey. It turned out, that our friend was legit, and our accommodation was University halls of residence, empty for the summer! £5 per night well spent.!

Next day we set out to explore the city, which was surprisingly (to us) full of nice shops Mercedes cars and American Fast food places! Pest was lovely , but FULL of armed police , seemingly on every corner. We had no idea if this was normal or not, so we noted it and carried on. 

Things started to get strange after lunch (a Big Mac meal, obviously- always the cheapest meal in a new city, or at least it was then). Crossing the bridge from Pest to Margarita Island , in the middle of  the Danube, we walk straight past legendary singer Billy Bragg! In Budapest!  As I recall he was very nice, but of course no pen or camera was in sight! 

We carried on and settled on a sunny spot on the grass in the middle of the island, fully equipped with our normal evening diet of copious local beer and chocolate (very cheap on this occasion unlike the previous day in Zurich). After I while I noticed a young couple sitting near us, and something familiar about the guy. There followed at least 30 minutes of swapping odd glances and hushed conversation as we decided if we knew each other. Eventually, one of us ( I cant remember who) braved the question.... "excuse me don't we know each other".....

It turned out that he was a friend of mine from primary school, Pete Tilling (who had also worked with John and myself at Marks and Spencer), travelling with his girlfriend!!! Sheer odd coincidence.

We had a lovely afternoon with them, during which Pete told me that  the Pope was due to arrive in the city by boat and that was the reason for the heavy police presence.

Aha....

At the appropriate time, we moved ourselves to the side of the island to watch the Pontiff arrive in the city on his Popemaboat. Result!

We were intending to travel on that evening to Prague, taking a train that evening , which started in Budapest......

Before I go on, I should add a word about inter-railing. Generally the secret for a good night's sleep on a long overnight journey (Budapest to Prague for example) is to get on the train some time before it leaves, find a compartment (they were very common in ll countries across Europe in 1991), boots off, look smelly and unwelcoming and then get a good nights sleep!

"Shall we go and see the Pope in the main Square"

" But we will miss the train"

"yes, but there is another one two hours later"

"That train starts in Sofia, and is going to Berlin. we are never going to get a good seat"

"We'll be ok. How often will we get to see and hear the Pope"

"OK then"

I forget who said what, but the end result was we  found ourselves in Heroe's Square, with 500,000 other people. The Pope was a very small (he was quite short) white figure , about a mile away!, talking to the crowd in Polish and Hungarian. What a fabulous decision to be there!

The reality dawned quickly that we had mad a daft decision, so we left to catch the train, already worried about how we would get a place to sleep/ We were right to worry. Said train was FULL. Full of Bulgarian and Romanian families, filling every space available. Forget the idea of a compartment, there wasn't even room in the toilets! and the smell was appalling. We lasted approximately 2 minutes before deciding that we could not face 5 minutes on this train , never mind 15 hours. So we got off, an headed back to the University for a further night, not sure what the next day might hold.......

The following day, on the advice of my school friend, we headed to Lake Baloton (largest lake in  Central Europe!). What we found was a sort of German Blackpool by the lake (without the roller coasters). A very budget destination for less well off German holiday makers ( I am being kind).

What we also discovered was that Germans were not well liked by the locals, but Brits (and Dutch) WERE. We first discovered this that evening when we pitched up at an outdoor restaurant for tea. When the waiter discovered that we were English, he bundled a group of German students off a table and made us sit there. For the rest of the evening we had the most amazing friendly service , at the expense of our German student "friends"!

Later that evening, whilst watching the Hungarian Bootleg Beatles (really!), we got chatting to a Dutch couple, who explained that it was the same for them! A lovely evening was had by all.

The following day we headed back to Budapest and a train to Munich. Before we did that we had to spend all of our Hungarian currency, as it was a serious offence to export it. I can assure you that it was very difficult to spend the equivalent of £7.50 on light edible things in Hungary (It was very very cheap). We failed, but in the end it didnt matter, the Hungarian Border Guards really did not care.

There we have it, 3 days of surreal holidaying in an amazing place.

Vizsla

My name is Denzil, I am a Hungarian Vizsla. I am not a Rhodesian Ridgeback, Weimerner or Red Setter (seriously?!). In fact my breed is far older than all of those. Vizslak (the correct plural) have been around for more than 1000 years, but only existed outside of Hungary in any significant numbers for less than 100 years, and in the UK for only 60 or so.

In fact Vizslak as a breed almost became extinct in the 20th Century, at one time there were only 12 dogs alive!

I think I am a lap dog, apparently I am a gun dog, though the reality is that, uniquely I am both. I am a rare example of a great Hunter Pointer who makes a perfect family pet.

I am affectionate, loyal, intelligent,  and athletic. One of the fastest breeds, I am also fearless, protective and gentle. I have no faults. Well ,ok, I am very clingy, wilful and I need lots of proper exercise, and lots of company and stimulation.

I am healthy and long lived, most likely due to careful and limited breeding over the last 50 years.

I have very odd owners, and lots of them are dentists!

I am a real ginger.

That is all

Denzil x

Things I would like to tell my younger self....

Firstly a word about why I am writing this blog. It started out as a way of recording my progress in diary form, when I cycled John O'Groats to Lands End back in May 2014. However, with a little encouragement from some friends, I decided to keep it up in 2015 and write regularly.

I tend to write from the heart without much filter, and I shall visit many different things, some of which will be very personal. Sharing these thoughts might seem a bit arrogant or self promoting. That is not my intention.

The first half dozen or so posts are my way of reflecting on the last year and indeed my life and making myself accountable by voices my thoughts public ally. This is going to be a momentous year on many levels. Genuinely life changing. I have reached a major crossroads, and I want to record my thoughts and actions in this blog.

I shall be done with the reflective stuff by the end of this or the next blog, and then... Who Knows.
I know I wont often be very serious . My default position is normally not to take myself or others too seriously.I shall often write in bullet points.  I might occasionally stray into religion or politics, but not often and not for long.

Apologies for the inevitable smelling and gramatical;  mistooks/.

So..... Things I wish I could tell my younger self, in roughly chronological order:

• Stick with it when learning to play a musical instrument, especially the piano
• Stay strong when the bullying starts to  get too much. It will end AND you will have the last laugh
• Try harder at Biology, you are going to need it. In fact , resit the pressure to do Further Maths at A Level and do Biology instead.
• Read more
• Exercise more
• Start going to the gym seriously and don't stop
• Do not chase after Becky Sedge for so long, she absolutely is not worth it.
• In 2nd year at Dental School, there will be an evening when you will have a choice to make. Either go to the Student's Union and see a new band from Manchester called "The Stone Roses", OR stay in the pub thinking you have a chance to score with Rhona. GO TO THE CONCERT!!!!!!
• Don't got to Grays Casino, or in fact any casino ever. No good will come of it. 
• When you qualify, and after you have finished Vocational Training, go and do some Postgrad and keep doing it. Seek out the best and learn from them. Do a Masters! Don't wait until your thirties to realise this!
• In 2000 when you have the choice whether to go it alone or join Kevin Fieldhouse in practice. Have the courage to go it alone!
• AND at that time go and get a coach to help, it will likely be Chris Barrow. It will be worth the money
• learn to stop wasting time and money
• Holiday more
• Excercise more

There are also things I would talk to myself about regarding sexuality, but I think that needs a different conversation!

Things I love part 2

More things I love

• Tolkein
• Nespresso
• Really rich Chorizo
• The BACD
• Suzy!
• Jackie Wilson
• Sweet peas
• Westonbirt Aboretum
• Birds of Prey in unexpected places
• XXL on a Saturday night
• Benedict Cumberbatch
• The look you get when someone sees their new smile for the first time
• The Poems of AA Milne
• Magnolia in full bloom
• The ideas and wisdom of Paddi Lund
• and Tony Gedge
• My world famous Ragu, when it has been left overnight
• Vasilly Kandinsky
• Marc Chagall especially his stained glass windows
• Matthew Rush
• MPOD Treasure Map Conference

Things I Love

In no particular order:

• Steve Timms
• Parmigiano Reggiano
• The smell of fresh limes
• Newcastle United
• A lovely bottle of Coonawarra Shiraz
• Rory, Francesca and Erin Watson
• The City of Newcastle upon Tyne
• The Music of Mark Knopfler
• Blackadder
• My Mam and Dad
• and sisters
• and their families
• Rachmaninov 
• and Tchaikovsky
• and Sibelius
• Sausages
• Hungarian Vizslak especially Denzil
• Beacon Dental Care
• especially Karen Sutton and our super team
• Lake Como
• the rest of Italy
• Bratwurst
• Kolsch
• Ben Cohen
• Peter Beardsley
• Malvern Hills Brewery- Black Pear Ale
• Orchids
• Disco
• Jimmy Somerville
• Cookbooks
• Georges Seurat espcially " Un baignade a Asnieres"
• but also Sunday afternoonon the island of La grande Jatte
• Alan Shearer
• West Malvern
• especially The Brewers Arms
• Dental Mavericks
• Tony, Cally, Mike, Chris, Jas, Nigel, Richard,Gill 
• Lindt chocolate
• Richard Briers
• Double Deckers
• Worcester Warriors
• Stephen Fry
• Gareth Thomas
• Blueberries
• Hue and Cry
• My bed
• Interesting modern art
• Soho
• My friends
• The Malvern Hills
• any other MHB Beer
• Cheesy Oat Cakes
• Moroccan Hoummus
• Gourmet Burger Kitchen
• England Rugby
• and. Malvern RFC
• Bill Bryson
• Jack Daniels
• Golf
• Cycling
• Squash
• The Good Life
• Cycling books
• a really good curry
• Spooks
• Cinema
• Espresso
• Dolce de Leche Ice cream
• Alan Turing and his amazing Legacy

might need part 2!

Goals for 2015

Family

• Take a proper holiday with Steve and my children, Florida preferably
• Visit New Zealand at Christmas
• Holiday with Steve
• Continue to spend quality time with kids

Relationships

• Life with Steve to grow and thrive
• Move closer together or indeed be together
• Finalise an amicable divorce and maintain a healthy relationship with Katie

Career

• Complete the transformation of the structure of the practice
• Work towards a bigger and better future for Beacon
• Work hard in my BACD role

Money

• Be Debt free by the end of the year
• Start to save properly

Education

• Increase my Orthodontic and Implant Skills
• Start Facial Aesthetics training
• Reduce Golf Handicap to 20

Physical

• Weigh no more than 88kg on 31 December (currently 91.3)
• Complete a triathlon
• Climb a big mountain for Dental Mavericks
• Get my health problems sorted out once and for all
• Cycle more
• Have a more regular gym routine

Also

I shall repay my Parents

Visit Morocco with Dental Mavericks

I shall make a concerted attempt at being Gluten free

I shall sleep more and drink more water

I will reconnect with my oldest friends Richard and Kate, Naomi, Nick and Marion, Paul and Sandra, Susan, Fi, Claire and Guy- going to be busy

Reflections on 2014 and plans for 2015

I've had a few days since the end of 2014 to reflect on my year and look ahead to 2015 and make some new goals.

2014

Quite a year, in particular order it was a year in which :

• Met my soul mate and fell in love. Thank you Steve
• Cycled 934 miles in 9 days, John O'Groats to Land's End, despite my lack of cycling experience, skill, speed and ability other than a headfull of stubborn bloody mindedness and mental strength. Thanks for the help-Sarah and Lawrence Herbert, Richard Marsden, Andy Ruffell, Gemma, Simon and ChrisBob from Denplan, Dominic and Alex for the advice and support, and Mark Oborn for the mental strength
• Found myself pushed into standing for election, then astoundingly winning said election to the BACD Board of Directors. Thanks to Nishan and Paul Abrahams for nudging me and Suzy of course
• Finally won a Private Dentistry Award- Best Charity Project- the best on to win by far!
• visited Lords for the first time with my buddy Shameek Popat
• Ate in a Michelin starred restaurant for the first time. Then did it again 3 weeks later...
• Had the best day of my life celebrating Steve's birthday at Le Gavroche, Claridges and the Prince of Wales theatre. Thanks to Craig and Pratish, Monica Galetti and Davide.
• Became a trustee of Worcester AIDS foundation, finally after putting it off for several years.
• I moved back home to West Malvern
• Reached an almost totally amicable agreement for my divorce

Not forgetting- an amazing Treasure Map conference with my whole team in January. Regular fantastic inspiration from my Royal Ruby Red family especially Tony and Cally

A great holiday in France with the kids and my Mam and Dad, even if we didn't have any good wine all holiday and the weather was consistently rubbish.

An unforgettable BACD conference.

Good times with my friends in West Malvern and at the Brewers Arms. The best Green Pear ever!

I work with the very best partner , Karen Sutton, and an amazing team.

On a less good note-

• My health has not been great, no doubt stress related
• Business has been very tough this year
• I had to go on Leave of Absence from Rotary, which will most likely be permanent- so  chapter of my life is definitely closing
• I could not join my Dental Maverick buddies in Morocco this year
• My exercise routines became a bit rubbish in the second half of the year
• money has been too tight

However, the future is looking good. My goals and hopes for 2015 will make for a separate blog, but to complete my "shit sandwich".

• Next year I intend to be debt free
• Take at least 2 holidays
• Go to Morocco to work with Dental Mavericks
• I will be divorced
• My business will change dramatically, and I am very happy and positive about that
• My health problems will be dealt with
• I shall end the year at least 3kg lighter
• I will complete a triathlon
• Climb a big mountain
• Get back on my bike
• Visit New Zealand to see my family (at last)
• Repay my parents (at last)
• I will reconnect with old friends , before it is too late
• I will sleep more and drink less alcohol and more water

Finally , nothing in any order,:

Best Films of 2014

Pride

The Hobbit

Sunshine on Leith

The Imitation Game

The Lego Movie

Best Books

Gareth Thomas' autobiography "Proud"

Brilliant Life by  Michael Heppell

More fool me by Stephen Fry

The Climb by Chris Froome

Seven Deadly Sins by David Walsh

Best Music

Sam Smith- In the Lonely Hour

Ed Sheeran= X

Jacqui Abbot and Paul Heaton- What have we become

Reflections

Wow. I'm on my sofa in Malvern (with wine!)

What a journey :  9 days, 934 miles, 47525 feet (9miles!!) of climbing, 70.45 hours riding time, 13.25 mph average speed.

I had really no idea what to expect. I signed up in haste; drunk at a Denplan Key Client Forum 2 years ago. Thanks to Henry Clover and Mark Garner at Denplan for that!, but how hard could it be??

Before our training ride in March I had not ridden more than 30 miles in a day on a road bike. That day in Yorkshire (81miles) was one of the hardest things I had ever done. BUT I was training well, and getting long miles in on the bike.

I was fairly confident that I was fit enough, and reasonably sure in my mental toughness, but not so sure how my body would cope- especially my knees ( right one broken in 1992), neck and back (regular pain and problems after an hour or so) and legs (regularly very very sore after 50+ mile rides). I was however unsure about Day 8. 10,000 feet of climbing over 100 miles is immense. ( A regular one day road sportive will have 6000-8000 feet over a similar distance on a single day. The Fred Whitton sportive in the lake district, widely considered to be one of the hardest has only 8200 feet over 120 miles!).

BUT I was committed, so off to the start I went.

What I Learnt in no particular order

• The human mind (mine in particular for our purposes) has an infinite capacity for digging deep. Then deeper again. My friend Mark Oborn taught me that. he gave me an image of a giant digger, which I visualised often at weak moments, to remind me to keep going
• Pain is controllable to a large degree
• I can climb ANY hill. I'm just not sure I want to. Bill Tweddell taught me that last week. He told me to keep pedalling at all costs, no matter how slowly. As long as my lungs were not bursting, my legs would keep turning. He was right!!
• My friends are incredibly supportive and generous- Thank you all so much
• 100+ miles a day is a long way, but quite possible if tiring
• It is worth it having a recovery routine- cold bath, stretching, compression and foam roller, and nutrition. Thanks to my trainer Jack Clayton, Sarah Wheeldon, Dan Pinder and many others
• Cornwall is beautiful but way way too hilly.
• The Denplan events team are awesome.
• Ive met some seriously impressive cyclists- Richard,Simon, Andy T  and young Tom (super star), incredibly persistent mentally strong heroes- Big Andy and Sarah. Great friends and patient teachers Lawrence, David and Bill. Im sure I should mention more. You are all heroes.
• Steve Timms is amazingly patient, supportive and wonderful.
• I'm not doing this again.

 



Day 9- St Austell to Lands End

64.7 miles, 5 hrs 36, 11.6mph, 4793 feet of climbing

The last day! "A short one", lots said.  " Easy ride to the finish" others said. "All downhill"!!!!

None of those really. it was one my toughest days, a day I doubted I could get through at times, even so close to the finish line.

I had looked at the route quite closely, and it was obvious that it was a continuation of the previous day, and maybe even harder. - almost 5000 feet of climbing in only 60 miles!

The day started badly. I dropped my chain twice on the way from the hotel to the start line/meeting point. By the time I got to the meeting point EVERYONE HAD GONE!

Cue grumpy call to Denplan Gemma- as I had no map of the route and no trust in my garmin. I waited 10 minutes or so for Gemma, so I reckon I set off about 20 minutes after everyone else. I had a vague hope that someone would realise and wait, but no. ( I found out that later, that the riders in the front thought I was behind and vice versa!).

So a solo ride from St Austell through Truro to the meeting point 28 miles later. The hardest leg of the whole journey for me,. Relentless climbing out of river valleys (Psst Cornwall-- BUILD SOME BRIDGES!!), and constant pain from my knees and neck.

I arrived at the meeting point, where Sarah and Lawrence were waiting for me, as they had now realised I was behind. Sarah was a superstar riding with me to the end, and tolerating my regular stops for the next 10 miles or so.

I started to improve at Helston, with about 25 miles to go, most pain had gone, and from that point we FLEW!

The sight of St Michaels Mount as we arrived at Marazion was breathtaking. The end is (almost) in sight

Ice Cream on the beach at the meeting point and then onwards for the last 15 miles.

We had discussed between ourselves taking the main road to Lands End (shorter and less steep hills), but we were told by the support team that the other riders would be waiting for us 4 miles out, so we could ride in together. So the hilly coast road it was then. (as it turned out, we were misinformed).

A lovely ride around the bay at sea level, dodging the tourists and we arrived at Mousehole and the climb that took my prize for hardest of the trip. Short but 20% in places.
By the way, throughout the whole trip, Sarah and myself rode every climb, without stopping, and without walking- I would never have thought that possible before this week.

The last 10 miles from Penzance to Lands End were relentlessly hilly and incredibly beautiful. 6 hills in that short stretch is a sharp sting in the tale.

But arrive we did. To a rapturous welcome from the other riders, our families and the support team.

WONDERFUL.

Photos and food and many goodbyes and then it was all over.

I was off to a fab Hotel with my lovely Steve for some relaxation before getting home.

9 days, 934 miles, 47525 feet (9miles!!) of climbing, 70.45 hours riding time, 13.25 mph average speed.

Thanks to follow
D